Sods Law of Combat

  1. Incoming fire has the right of way.
  2. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  3. Friendly fire isn't.
  4. Tracers work both ways.
  5. Never draw fire. It irritates everyone around you.
  6. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  7. The effective radius of a hand grenade is always greater that the distance you can jump.
  8. There is no such thing as a convenient foxhole.
  9. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
  10. Never worry about the bullet with your name on it. Instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to 'occupant'.
  11. All battles are fought at the junction of two or more map sheets printed at different scales.
  12. Teamwork is essential, it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
  13. The most dangerous thing in a combat zone is a officer with a map.
  14. If you need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
  15. It isn't necessary to be stupid to be an officer, but it helps.
  16. The problem with taking the easy way out is that it is already mined.
  17. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
      a. when you’re ready for them.
      b. when you’re not ready for them.
  18. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your own artillery will fall short.
  19. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
  20. The Quartermaster only ever has two sizes; Too Large and Too Small.
  21. Professionals are predictable, it’s the amateurs that are dangerous.
  22. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and they miss.
  23. Don't be conspicuous, in the combat zone it draws fire. (Out of the combat zone it draws sergeants.)
  24. Try to look unimportant, the enemy may be low on ammo.
  25. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
  26. All battles are fought uphill.
  27. All battles are fought in the rain.
  28. A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.
  29. Always know when it's time to get out of the Land Rover.
  30. Always know how to get out of a Land Rover.
  31. Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. The enemy's probably has been too, but they also probably have a better currency exchange rate or wealthy benefactor.
  32. The weight of all your equipment is directly proportional to the time you have been carrying it.
  33. No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
  34. No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat.
  35. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
  36. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
  37. If you’re short of everything but the enemy, you’re in a combat zone.
  38. When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy.
  39. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won’t be able to get out.